Pregnancy is supposed to be the time when you have complete licence to gorge yourself silly. Sorry but this, in my case anyway, has been total b******s.

I don’t know how pregnant women manage to put on weight, I really don’t – and I’m sure there are a lot of women nodding their heads out there in agreement.

It’s not that I haven’t been hungry or haven’t eaten. It’s just that the hunger I’ve had during pregnancy has been nothing like anything I’ve experienced before.

Eating suddenly becomes something you have to do, and you have to cram in as much as possible before your stomach says ‘kitchen closed’ for the day.

So eating is not the enjoyable thing is used to be, it’s more case of, if it tastes okay/doesn’t make me feel sick/give me indigestion/makes me feel all gunky then I can eat it.

I’ve had some of the most lovely food cooked for me by my other half; fish pies, roasted vegetable quiches, veggie Mexicans, pecan and chocolate pies, the list goes on. But for my shame I’ve ended up wolfing it all down rather than savouring it.

Now, at 36/37 weeks my heartburn has come back (again!!). Kind of like those movie sequels that never seem to stop. Yesterday was pretty bad on the heartburn/indigestion front, as it wasn’t just my stomach but my whole upper body that felt like it was on fire.  In the end I gave up trying to eat dinner and ate ice cubes instead.

Doctor and midwife tell me it’s a combination of hormones, which slow down the digestion to make sure you and baby get the last little drop of goodness out of any food you eat, and the baby getting too big and putting pressure on my stomach.

Gaviscon, every mum-to-be’s little helper, is no longer working, hence yoghurt and the ice cubes.

What I’ve been doing this week:

In between firey mouthfuls I’ve been road-testing maternity knickers. These are the disposable kind that protect your nice undies in those delicate weeks after baby is born. Sainsbury’s do what appear to be a cheap version at £1.97 for five, but if I have to have a c-section my guess is these will be no good. They remind me of the knickers I bought to wear round India when I was 18 on a backpacking holiday between year 1 and 2 or university, uncomfortable and a bit flimsy.

I’ve also bought cheap maternity (sanitary) pads for the same reasaon, sadly the slim version just won’t do. Sainsbury’s 99p for 10. I’m not sure readers will want to hear why I think these will be good so I’ll use one word and leave it at that – hammock.

Now, all I have to do is sort out our nappy system, sterlising unit (even if you breastfeed you need to buy this – bah!), oh and how to work out how to use the sling my friend’s bought.