I'll be honest, last week I was out of business. And a lot of it was self inflicted, avoidable misery.

I'd seen an interview with Peter Jones, he of the Dragons on local TV a while ago where he said 'know your product, do your research, but most importantly; get your figures right!' My figures weren't right. Not right at all.

The stupid thing is, I knew it but I was caught up in just keeping going, which is utterly self-defeating. You're just running faster towards your own demise. Plus I had a massive dog show at Earls Court (non profit making as it turned out) so could hide away in that for a few days.

Working on your own is hard. Really hard. Motivation isn't my problem, it's having someone else to bounce off, to ask the really hard and difficult questions with, to keep the focus on who you are as a company and where you're going. If it wasn't for good friends like Helen and Simon, who manufacture the amazing probiotic dog treat Feelwells and are self made geniuses as well as kind and generous people, sharing their business acumen and suggestions I'd have sunk a long, long time ago.

Then there's my dad, who came to my rescue to take a look at it all last week. We sat down and pulled 100 invoices into a spreadsheet, breaking them down by profit and loss, delivery charges, type of product and how they had been sent; courier or post. The results were stark, almost instant, and so obvious I opted for fits of nervous laughter that made my sides hurt, over weeping.

I was losing money on delivering food by courier, offering free delivery on orders over a certain amount and newsletter subscription discounts. My profits were being eroded by offers I thought I had to make to find and keep customers. One of the most interesting things was I am selling far less food than I thought, which is what usually drives secondary sales. I might as well have stopped trading there and then.

Instead I scrapped all discounts and free delivery; averaged out the total cost of postage over those 100 invoices and changed the postage rate to a flat fee. I also stopped selling food except that which the manufacturers are happy to drop ship.

Then I waited for the orders to come in, or not. And they did! So far no one has registered as a new customer then left without completing an order when they've clapped eyes on the new delivery charges. Most of them have subscribed to my newsletter without me dangling a carrot. I called my best six customers to explain why I was no longer selling food and they were all lovely, understanding people who are all staying and paying. Two of them put in an order there and then.

So that's me. Looking for a job to tide me over but now making profit on every order that comes in. I've given up beating myself up about it. I know far more now than I did twelve months ago and in another twelve months I hope to be in a much better position. I heard someone on the radio a couple of days ago who said 'there's no shame in failing, the shame is not getting up and trying again.' Enough said.

So let me get this straight: we aren't in recession yet (officially) but we have tippi-toed our way to the edge of the abyss, had a quick shufti and run away squealing? Smashing!

We knew it was inevitable, but if the big bad bankers weren't such scaredy cats with itchy trigger fingers we might have had a smoother run up to the downturn.

As it is, two weeks ago the banks headed south and my business almost - and I REALLY mean almost - ground to a halt. It's taken two weeks for that rabbit in headlights look to fade from everyone's eyes and now finally customers are coming back.

And thank the Lord it's Christmas in two months and not January, otherwise I'd be staring ruin in the face. But with any luck we'll have regrouped our cool and be on a more even financial keel by then, and I'll have worked out a cunning and devious plan for staying afloat.

I've got a good little business on the go here, and I love the challenge of it all, but I need to eat too. I get that customers aren't spending like they were, I'm a customer myself. I've stopped buying things I don't need i.e. new knickers (who's going to notice!), cooking more and filling up the freezer.

The thing to remember though is that it's the small businesses that keep this country afloat and if you stop spending, we go bust, our suppliers go broke and we're all saying 'do you want fries with that' by Easter. Which will only serve to make things far worse than they are now.

For the record, I had a house and a business during the last recession in the late eighties early nineties and can I just state right here and now that this is nowhere near as bad. Inflation isn't crazy yet, interest rates are not making our eyes bleed at seventeen percent and unemployment is not rampant at three million. That was hard.

So yes, tighten your belts; you don't need a new car, fix the old one, put that Prada handbag back on the shelf, it won't make you any better looking than you clearly already are, but please, and I implore you to do this as much as possible, spend a little bit on small things. They won't bankrupt you, but if you stop spending altogether then it will, as sure as eggs is eggs bankrupt many more small businesses before this is all over.

I am happy.

There is a cat on my lap who's happy too because I am in for once. I have enough money in the bank to pay the mortgages for the next two months and I'm off on really my first holiday in a year tomorrow.

So I don't care about anything much I'm just living in this moment, the one where I am happy to just BE.

When I come back I have five (count 'em) five precious weeks at home with no TV job and no dog shows to hinder me. I've got five weeks to put everything I've got into making this business work. Because it's been just ticking along for the last few weeks and I've been running myself ragged.

So I'm off to France for seven precious days to eat, sleep, laugh, catch up on all my back copies of Vanity Fair (guilty pleasures), drink and be merry.

Then back to reality, but I'm excited by it. I just wish I didn't feel so thick most of the time and inexpert at running a business, but hey, no one's perfect!

So stroke the cat, eat dinner, answer emails then seven days off. GORGEOUS.

And I promise I'll blog more and eat more veg when I get back. Honest.

x

I'm here extolling the virtues of Business Link once more. Last weekend I went on the last of a series of three half-day courses run for people thinking of or having just started a new business.

This one was on marketing and how to keep your customers. It was good to know that I'm doing it half-right at least, although the rest is half-arsed I admit.

It was all SWOT analysis (Strengths, Weaknesses, Opportunities and Threats) where you compare you company to the competition and ask the four questions above. Weaknesses, eerr....an unhealthy obsession with Mars bars? No love, not that kind of weakness but what are your company's weaknesses and how do they compare with the competition's? Which in turn make them your strengths. Or something like that.

Anyhow, I ended up with yet another to-do list and some great tips I never would've thought of for retaining customers and more confidence thanks to yet another good teacher.

So, if you're thinking of starting your own business do it, call Businesslink. Most of the people there weren't even at the staring gate and you might want to think about doing the first course, which concentrates on the practicalities you need to address before you open your doors to Joe Public. Then leave the rest for a little later as they'll be more relevant after six months or so. But do it all the same.

As for business, it's going from strength to strength even in this current climate. Customers are spending a bit less but a few things I've implemented on the site make sure that they keep coming back. One of which is free delivery, which, as we know, there is definitely no such thing. So it's me paying and we'll see how it goes for the next three months then assess the situation.

Because the best thing these courses have told me is that you don't discount, apologise or give stuff away in order to keep a customer. If you can't afford to sell it and deliver it at the price at which you can turn a profit then you have to change it. Or you WILL go out of business faster than a rat up a drainpipe. And that's not a pretty sight.