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    does anyone here get carers? or used to before covid19?

    our local council carers are the ones that came into me, when the pandemic started they asked people with families to take over till the pandemic is over or till its safe to have them in again. so mam agreed with the understanding it would auto start when its safe.

    they have decided i cant get them again without an assessment. they are not even bothering to do the assessment. mam is very much struggling. we know people who have had carers throughout and people who had the same ask as us. yet they have been put back on without an asessment or issues. the only real difference is im young there all over fifty.

    i pay for this service by the way through a funding scheme where they pay x amount and we pay x amount each year. if we dont have them we can loss this funding. the funding also covers carers from the local carers centre, who are supposed to come three days a week 6hours each day. thats also not going to plan. some of which is out of their control. but we feel like were getting the run around.

    earlier this year a carer i was fond of got  moved to someone else, there was no warning and they refuse to send her back to me. this caused a lot of disstress. then my fav carer from carers centre left after 2 weeks of coming back into us when they deemed it safe in july. this broke me, im devastated but understand why, she had to leave, i was given a weeks notice so at least i got to say bye. then now another carer has left. im guted as she hadnt long started before the pandemic, and was getting to know her.  the one i was forced to have recently cant even do the full hours on any day. im still unsure of her.

    they kept saying throughout the 3 n half years we had people  we will get people to shadow your carers so theres room for a sub if they cant make it. once a year they had one person shadow for maybe an hour. not enough time to know if its definately going to work with them. feel like again because we dont scream n shout about things and are very understanding i feel there givin us the run around. if we dnt use up the alloted hours we loss the budget. which means less help.

    i cant cope with everything, iv had another mental breakdown, very suicidal. (there aware of this) we dont really know what to do. how to get them to give us the help we need. its very hard for me meeting new people, trusting them, feeling safe with them, change of any kind esp big changes. esp when im not mentally doing so good. i was born with a are terminal illness which creates a multitude of mental and physical disabilities n illnesses. its very complex.  mams had almost no help with me till  nearly died 7 years ago. mam herself dosent keep too good mentally, and has arthritis which worsens every hear and needs both knees n hips done.

    has anyone been in similar situation? know what to do? does it get easier? i dont know if this helps but i live in scotland. i get the feeling things are different from england. as when i was looking for help for food when the pandemic started it only showed help for england, and then it was very different n didnt work out when we did asked for food help it didnt work out(couldnt use the stuff so ended up cancelling as it gets wasted and someone else may have been able to use)

    we dont even have money where we can employ our own people, so we are stuck with the local councils. we seem to always fall through the net. its very hard each blow just destroys me more n more. and i can see its affecting mam too. i wish i wasnt such a burden on my family or anyone. but im stuck.


    Hi Clare,


    Sorry to hear you’re having a rough time of it. Have you spoken to the Citizens Advice Bureau? They may be able to help advocate for you. Also, your GP may have a patient advocate service that helps people get the care they need, if you haven’t asked them yet it could be worth a shot.

    With the rules all over the place with lockdown, safety at work, PPE etc, it’s very hard to know what’s going on. If you’ve received the care previously and the service was stopped due to lockdown, I don’t really understand why you’ve then got to have a new assessment to restart it – that’s a point to argue with them.

    Have you heard of the website/app called NextDoor? It’s a local site that connects people in your community – it could well be worth signing up to ask if anyone knows of local charities etc that could be of help in your situation, too. You might find some kind people offer additional assistance such as going to the shops for you (and the NHS volunteer groups are still running so they might help, too).

    If you’re feeling low, remember the Samaritans are always there for you 24/7 on 116 123 (no area code required), or you can write to them via email or post – the info is here: 

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