Your money-making expert. Financial journalist, TV and radio personality.
Listen up maggots, I’m the Drill Sergeant Magpie and I’m not like the other Money Magpies. I’m not gonna mollycoddle you, I’m not gonna tell you ‘everything is okay’, I’m gonna tell you how it is – you deserve to be poor!
Now you’re probably thinking ‘but I don’t get paid enough’, or ‘my bills are too expensive’ – yadda yadda yadda.
I don’t care and neither does life. Excuses won’t put food on the table.
Here are reasons you deserve to be poor.
If you don’t know roughly how much is coming in each month and how much is going out, how in God’s name do you expect to keep on top of your finances?
Not budgeting is lazy, willful ignorance.
You could be hemorrhaging money and not even have a clue you’re doing it.
So get up off that sofa, pull yourself away from the television and start making a budget.
Your bank account is going to thank you for it!
If you’re going to get on top of your finances, you need to start saving some money each month.
Don’t even bother telling me ‘there’s nothing left at the end of the month’ – it’s your job to make sure that something is (more on some ways to do this further down.)
Yes, this means you might not be able to ‘treat yourself’.
Some people are always ‘treating themselves’ to meals out, new clothes, weekend getaways, or a pricey TV subscription.
These things are luxuries – REPEAT AFTER ME – ‘these things are luxuries’.
You don’t NEED these things and any happiness they bring is gonna be short lived if you’re poorer at the end of it all.
There’s no ‘happy buzz’ in poverty.
Lots of people end up in debt. You’re not alone.
Some people end up in debt for silly reasons – to buy a TV they didn’t need or a holiday they couldn’t afford.
Sometimes, however, people end up in debt through no fault of their own. Nothing they could have done.
What you can do, however, is seek debt advice.
Don’t wallow in isolation, feeling sorry for yourself. Don’t let your credit score continuously be hit and the amount you owe continue to grow.
Seek free independent debt advice from companies like StepChange.
You can also sign up to our free debt action plan to take you step-by-step through tackling your debt.
It’s okay to ask for help!
Do you know what your credit score is like?
If not, why? There’s no excuse.
You can sign up to Experian for free and find out straight away.
If you have a crap credit score then you’re going to find it harder to get loans you really need. Companies who offer loans to people with bad credit are going to charge you much more interest because you’re a higher risk.
Take action. Improve your credit score.
Not sure how? Then read this article to find out how to clean up your credit record.
Never switched any of your providers?
Pfft, you make me sick!
For the sake of twenty minutes you could save hundreds of pounds.
If you’re not willing to put that time in, you don’t deserve to have money!
You could potentially save £250 or so by switching your energy provider using our handy tool here.
Loyalty doesn’t pay. Put the effort in. Shop around. Get the best deal.
Investing is just what rich people do, right?
It’s confusing and dangerous, and requires too much effort.
It’s an option open to everyone and is a great way to make the money you do have actually pay.
We’ve got loads of articles on investing to help you get started and there are lots of other great free resources out there just waiting to be read.
Don’t just put the minimum effort in with your finances, become as informed as you can. With knowledge comes opportunity – grab it!
If you just show up at work, put in the bare minimum effort and then fly out the door the minute the clock strikes five-thirty, how do you think you’re ever going to progress in your career?
Every day at work is an opportunity to prove yourself, to go above and beyond to help better your company.
Will you always get acknowledged for it?
Hell no, there are lots of crappy employers out there!
But if you don’t put in the effort then you’re never going to justify asking for that pay rise or promotion that could help you better your life.
Go in with a can-do attitude and you’ll soon open doors for yourself.
There are literally hundreds of different ways you could make a bit of extra cash on the side – we have a list here – but too many people make excuses why they can’t do it.
‘I don’t really know how’
Put in the effort, people!
Don’t pass up on cashback sites like TopCashback and Quidco which offer you the chance to make money every time you make a purchase – seriously, you’re literally missing out on money back by not signing up to these sites.
We have a whole article on online surveys you can complete to make a bit of money in your free time.
And then there’s our own Reward Scheme – Magpie Money.
We offer our readers the chance to get a £5 Amazon voucher for doing basically nothing. You get Magpies for visiting the site, commenting on articles and completing offers – most of which are free and give you even more ways to make money.
One of our members has already earned £50 in Amazon vouchers in just a few months.
Yet so many of you don’t do it! It’s literally free money that you can earn with a few clicks. Why are you passing up this opportunity?
Step up your game by signing up to Magpie Money today.
If you’re unsure about something, don’t just give up like some kind of loser – join our exclusive Magpie Money Facebook group and ask any questions you have. Jasmine or some other members will be happy to help.
So come on maggots, prove to me I’m wrong. Prove to me you don’t deserve to be poor.